Thanksgiving.

It's the only time of year when gluttony because a patriotic duty. It's a great holiday when you get to for one day shut down regular life and surround yourself with your family and food. I love my family Thanksgiving because it's not your typical kinda. We don't go out of town and no one comes to see us. It's just us like it's always been. We get together and we make the same food that are not always your "typical" foods and we eat and spend time together. This year we went to my mom's cousin's house on Thanksgiving but we are doing our family on Saturday... It was nice to go see family I don't know very well and I am or was or am excited for Saturday.

I had every intention yesterday when I got home around 10 of blogging my Thanksgiving blog, You know the one about what you are thankful for... It's funny because I had been thinking all day about how long of a blog this would have to be. I wanted to talk about my family and how it has not always been normal or easy but I love them. I grew up military and I wouldn't trade that for the world. I had a mom who made me try EVERYTHING once and it made me appreciate a lot. I was allowed to do anything sport or activity I wanted growing up which led to my passion for martial arts now. I have been pushed academically and taught to be an independent person. I was given the right base for my life both politically and religiously. I am so thankful to have been given the chance to grow up in church and taught what I needed to make it in this world. I truly have been given both roots and wings which is exactly what you can hope for as a child. Then I was going to talk about my friends who are absolutely amazing. The truth is they say that if you can count how many good friends you have on one hand you are lucky. I am so blessed it is unbelievable. I have a group of friends who mean the world to me. They have been there for me through thick & thin. Then have been there with me for fun times and parties and laughter and 3 am silly trips to walmart and they have been with me crying in the altar at church and sick and hurt and angry. My friends have taught me that just because you are not blood does not mean you are not family. It is an experience that I will never forget and I truly believe I have friends for life. (Now don't get me wrong we have our ups and downs... I know we aren't perfect but I also know that we are strong enough to work through things when they are hard... not walk away). And also and most importantly... I am thankful for my God. He is there for me no. matter. what. He loves me broken and happy, weak and strong... He has never turned his back on me and he working on making me the person I want and need to be. I am so thankful that no matter what happens in life and who lets me down and how many times I mess up... He is there because I don't what I would do without His forgiveness. I know I'm not perfect and I'm thankful he does too.

There is more... There is LOTS more. I could write this blog for days but the truth I am so at a loss right now, and I don't have the energy to talk about why, that I just need to walk away from this. I am putting my full trust in knowing "this too will pass"... I just hope it's sooner than later and I hope she knows that I love her and have wanted nothing more in my life to make her proud no matter what she thinks...